5 Minutes of Fabulous: How your inner mean girl may be sabotaging your career
Happy Friday Sugar Puff!!
How are you? How is your week going?
Today I want to talk to you about taking an honest look at your career. I’ve personally had major ups and downs in my career and after taking a good, hard look at the situations I’ve been in, I realized that my happiness and fulfillment in my work has always been an inside job.
What that means is that more often than not, my dissatisfaction in my career has stemmed from my own thoughts. My inner mean girl, the crazy bitch that lives in my brain, the inner critic, or ego has said:
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m not smart enough”
“My boss can’t stand me, and he/she thinks I’m dumb”
“No one respects me”
“I’ll never get this right”
Can you relate? Do you ever notice that voice that whispers the meanest things to you throughout the day?
The voice can really fuck things up!
When I first started working in advertising as a digital media assistant, I was terrified that I’d mess up and get fired. I was also petrified of my boss and all I wanted to do was please her. My inner mean girl would constantly say, “you don’t deserve this job. You aren’t good enough. You will never get promoted here. They don’t like you. You don’t fit in.” And let me tell you, these thoughts 100% got in the way of me doing my best work. I constantly made mistakes, showed up to work with a shitty attitude, and became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was living in fear. And it was easy for me to blame my dismissive boss. It was even easier to blame my long commute. I looked outside of myself and placed the responsibility on everyone else, when really the culprit and the person that I thought was out to get me was ME. It was my own inner mean girl that prevented me from thriving, getting the promotion, and from being the bright shining star that I so desperately wanted to be. My constant state of fear and anxiety sabotaged any chance I had to be successful.
One of my favorite ways to conquer my inner mean girl is to connect with her. One exercise that can help you do that is by using affirmations. Take a sheet of paper, leaving space at the right side for negative inner mean girl responses. As you write the affirmation on the left, write your inner mean girl response or denials to it on the right. As you keep writing the affirmation, watch how the responses change. A bolder affirmation will bring up more negative responses from your inner mean girl, this offers you the opportunity to see what is standing in your way.
Try the example below- it is fascinating what your inner mean girl will have to say and how she can shift and change!
I am smart enough. No, you’re not. You totally fucked up in that meeting today.
I am smart enough. I don’t believe you.
I am smart enough. Are you sure?
I am smart enough. I came up with a great solution for my boss today.
I am smart enough. I’m the expert in what I do & I asserted myself in a meeting today.
I am smart enough. I trust that my personal best is the best.
If all else fails and you find yourself getting stuck in an inner mean girl loop, here’s a reminder for you:
Share with me what comes up for you when you do this exercise! Did your inner mean girl turn into your BFF? Did the exercise trigger you?
Sending you all my love always!