5 Minutes of Fabulous: Can you change a man?
Good Morning Darling!
I imagine that we are bundled up together on my velvet blue sofa sipping matcha and giggling together. The reason we’re giggling is because we’re debating the age-old question, can you really change a man?
We start to cackle together because we agree that no one can really change anyone else, be that a man or a woman.
What I can tell you is a true story about one of my coaching clients, who successfully changed her own energy to create a tectonic shift in her romantic relationship.
My gorgeous client started dating this guy that she was crazy about. They had chemistry and lots of fun together. After a couple of months, my client allowed “the voice” in her head to start running their relationship. She began to wonder, “when will we get married?” and “isn’t it my time to settle down?” and “I need to think about marriage now if I want to have kids in my thirties, right?” She sat down with her dude and started asking all the questions. Were they official? Why hadn’t she met his friends yet? Did he see a future with her like she did with him?
His answer was harsh but clear. He didn’t see a future with her. He wasn’t interested in labels and the last thing he wanted was to be called someone’s boyfriend. But he didn’t want to stop seeing her either.
When my sweet client showed up for our call she felt hurt, defensive, and unworthy. We explored the pressure that she was putting on herself to settle down and the pressure that she felt to live her life based off of societal expected deadlines.
I challenged her to drop the timeline, tell “the voice” in her head to shut the fuck up, and remember what falling in love is all about… having fun, being wild, free, light-hearted, and sensuous.
She decided that she could allow her dude’s feedback to crush her or she could allow it to empower her decisions about the relationship moving forward.
My client made the conscious effort to drop the hyper-controlling, forceful, deadline driven energy and decided to turn her sexy on!
She planned a date for her and her guy. She took the initiative to invite him out for cocktails. In an effort to feel her most gorgeous and flirty, she treated herself to a blow-out, a mani/pedi, and wore her favorite matching lingerie for the date.
The night of the date she showed up as her most alive, light-hearted, and playful self. Nothing on the agenda but to just be alive with her man and have fun!
It’s been two months since their hot date night and they’re now an official couple with labels and all. They are even headed on their first vacation together next week!
The moral of the story is that you can’t really change a man or a woman, but you can let someone see a different side of life. Most importantly, you can create a life that is filled with fun, lightness, sensuality, flirtation, and wildness!
If you’re interested in shifting your own energy to feel more sexy, playful, and wild, I would suggest going inward and connecting to that side of you.
What makes you feel sexy? Does getting a blowout shift your vibe? Do you feel sassier with a gorgeous hair-do?
If feeling like a golden goddess means getting a spray tan, go for it. What types of specific things or activities help you turn on your sexy vibes?
When was the last time you felt more wild, playful, and flirty? If you can tap into that version of yourself what types of decisions would she make today?
Do you want to learn more about connecting to the different parts of yourself? If so, you are in luck! In May, I’ll be hosting a New Moon Goddess Circle in Los Angeles focused on the importance of playfulness and sensuality. The evening will include rituals, intention setting, gorgeous beauty and wellness recipes, and divine feminine connection. Sound a little woo-woo for you?
All good, I get it, but I challenge you to consider the idea of putting down your phone, getting a little woo-woo, and opening your heart to connect with your sensual self.
If you can’t make it to LA and are interested in a virtual experience of this event, simple reply to this email and connect with me!
Wishing you a weekend filled with gorgeous lingerie sets, make-out sessions, and oh so much fun!