5 Minutes of Fabulous: Can romance show up when we least expect it?
Good Morning Lover,
Do you have a Valentine’s Day hangover? After a week of lots of relationship talk with everyone I’ve encountered, I want to connect with YOU on how romance doesn’t always show up how we expect it will.
Don’t get me wrong, I am literally obsessed with over-the-top, old movie-style romance. Rose petals, chocolates, being whisked away to Paris, the list goes on and on for all the ways I thought romance would look like in my own life.
What I’ve come to realize is that the most romance and love I’ve ever experienced have always appeared in the most unexpected ways. And although roses and chocolates are delightful, they have never made me feel the pure bliss I’ve felt from sitting across from someone who is present, engaged, and enraptured in conversation with me.
Below are a few ways that romance has unexpectedly showed up in my life recently. As you go through the list, I ask that you consider evaluating how you feel as you read. Do you notice that you become triggered or uncomfortable? Or excited and optimistic?
Self-love: One way that we can experience self-love is by being curious about our feelings, emotions, preferences, and sensations. One way to show yourself more love today is to set a little time to connect with yourself. This can be for 30 seconds to just feel and notice your arms and legs or it can be a two-hour coffee date with yourself to sit and journal. Below are a few questions that you can ask yourself/journal on to connect deeper with yourself:
Describe yourself in 3 words.
Complete the sentence: If I had a dinner party…
What am I ready to receive in my life right now?
Connection: As I mentioned earlier, there is nothing more romantic than being fully ALIVE in this present moment. When you can share your aliveness with someone else, that is where real love shows up in our lives.
The next time you see your husband, take your child to school, hang with a girlfriend, or call your mom, experiment with really leaning into your conversation. Really engage. Ask them, “what was the best part of your day?” or get really deep on where they feel uncomfortable in their lives.
Task yourself with hanging on every word they say, show that you are in this moment with them, that you are genuinely interested in who they are. When we authentically connect with others it is pure love exemplified. Nothing has ever made me feel more loved than having someone be genuinely interested in who I am, my preferences, and my opinions.
Prioritizing our sensuality: Sensual pleasure has been one of my favorite things to talk about recently. Although the topic may be considered taboo to some, I find it extremely invigorating to chat about it with other women. Below are a few of the juiciest things I am currently talking about with my girlfriends:
The Slow Sex Book focused all around the art of the female orgasm. The book revolves around the technique of Orgasmic Meditation which BTW is literally a magical experience. If you are looking to feel more romance, excitement, vulnerability, and connection from your sex life, I highly recommend you check out this book.
When was the last time you told your partner about the moment you loved most during your hook-up? Another way to get more in touch with your sensuality is by focusing on a moment that you enjoyed during your time spent with your partner and sharing. Encourage your partner to do the same. Sharing in this way is a total turn-on and helps the best moments last a bit longer too!
Self-pleasure: If getting intimate with yourself scares you, I suggest you start slow. Start by going for a massage. Afterwards, think about what felt good and what didn’t. What are your preferences when it comes to sensual touch? Understanding and accepting your needs and desires is what self-pleasure is all about.
As the great Carrie Bradshaw once said, “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” And maybe falling in love with ourselves is the first step to romance?
Because without the inconveniences, the messiness, the awareness, and the acceptance of who and where we are, how would we be able to recognize the romance and love that shows up in our lives every day?
I am DYING to hear from you! Share with me what is coming up for you around this! You can simply reply to this email!