5 Minutes of Fabulous: How to Bounce Back When Someone Comments on Your Body
Happy Friday and hope you are officially ready for delicious holiday relaxation! I am writing to you today with vacation on my mind. I am headed off to Cabo San Lucas with my boyfriend and his family next week. In preparation for this trip, I purchased a new bathing suit. Buying a new bathing suit can bring up all types of emotions like fear, anger, sadness, frustration to just name a few. Can you relate? Earlier this week, I received my pretty new bathing suit in the mail. At the exact same time, I had a female family member, who I love dearly, over at my apartment. I decided to try on the suit and ask her opinion. She said, “the bathing suit is nice, it makes your waist look small, but you need a diet.” A couple of years ago this comment would have completely devastated me. I would have equated one person’s thoughts about me and my body to mean everything about my worth. This time, my response to the comments on my body went a little something like this, “I don’t diet anymore. This is my body. So, no, no more dieting for me." My sweet family member said that she was sorry for the comment and that all she wants is for me to happy, healthy, and successful. I reassured her that not only am I all of those things, but regardless of what my body looks like, I am the only one that has the control to be happy, healthy, and successful. Family members tend to believe that they can comment freely on our bodies. I am here to remind you that we can create very clear boundaries with our families and be really explicit that we don’t feel comfortable with their commentary on our bodies. In the case that you are headed home to a family that feels like they can comment on how thin you are and that you need to eat more or how voluptuous you may be and that you should check out Weight Watchers, here a few tips that have helped me on my journey: Say no. If a comment is made about your body that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can stand up and say no. You can declare that it’s not ok for anyone to comment on your body. It’s your right to stand in your power and say no more diets or to declare to your family that you are happy and healthy just as you are. Call someone who makes you feel loved and held. Feeling like your body is under scrutiny can feel really uncomfortable and I always recommend sharing our feelings with someone that makes us feel at peace. In my situation, I called my boyfriend and felt my sadness lift the second I started to vent to him. Self-Soothing Mediation. Whenever I feel sadness and discomfort, I turn to a self-soothing meditation practice. I close my eyes and tell myself: May I be happy. May I be safe. May I have peace in my heart.
Can we talk about something other than our weight, diet, or workout regimen? If your family is anything like mine, then you know how it feels to be around a group of people who love to talk about what foods they are avoiding (gluten, carbs, sugar), how much weight they want to lose, and how much time they are spending exercising. Instead of feeding into this endless cycle, we can try talking more about our hobbies, our career, things we did over the weekend, our dreams and goals, our friends, or where we want to go on vacation. Try to Forgive. What I recognized in the situation with my family member is that her comments had nothing to do with me. She is highly critical of her own body and her comments about mine were simply a projection of her own insecurity. The moment that I recognized that, I was able to forgive her and feel like a powerful bad-ass Queen. If all else fails, stand in the power of your magnificent body. Our bodies take on all our fears, worries, and sadness, don’t they deserve some respect? What comes up for you around this? Does your family make comments about your size or shape? Do they comment on your eating habits? Is this something that you struggle with? Share with me in the comments below! I also want to share that I am officially launching my self-esteem and lifestyle coaching business this January! I am kicking it off with an email challenge called 18 Days to Fabulous that begins on 1/8. It takes an average of three weeks to form a new habit and the challenge is focused all around thinking more positively and finding creative ways to add more fun, color, and pleasure into your life. The challenge works like this: every morning from 1/8- 1/25 you will receive an email with a lesson from me. These e-mails will take you 5 minutes or less to read and the idea is help you think differently for just one moment during your day and ultimately help you make the mundane in your life feel fabulous! Each challenge participant will also receive a 30 minute 1-on-1 call with me at the completion of the challenge. My hope is that instead of women focusing on dieting or scrutinizing our outer appearance in 2018, that we can start the year off by celebrating who we are, where are lives are at, what we look like right now.
Wishing you a beautiful holiday with your family and friends! Xo Nina Daisy