5 Minutes of Fabulous: How to Show Up as Your Most Fabulous Self this Holiday Season
I love the holidays. I love the music, the smell of the balsam, and decorating. I feel bliss when lighting the Hanukkah candles and when decorating our fake little tree with our favorite kitschy ornaments. I don’t know about you, but I cherish "The Grinch", "The Holiday", "The Muppet Christmas Carol", and "Home Alone 2". Hours fly by when I decorate cookies, write cards, and listen to Mariah Carey's and Frank Sinatra's Christmas albums.
To me, the holidays are all about magical, cozy feelings. It’s about spending quality time with the people that we love most and connecting with them on a deeper level. Unfortunately, for most of us, the holidays have become an extremely stressful time of year. We tend to spend hours in stores, shopping black Friday and cyber Monday deals, and buying stuff that we can’t really afford. It’s also a time where we say yes to things that we really want to say no to. Can you relate? We overbook, overspend, and overstuff ourselves during this time of year, mostly because just like the elf on the shelf, we put our needs and desires on the shelf. We make decisions from a place of pleasing others instead of prioritizing what we really want during this special time of year.
In the spirit of showing up as our most fabulous, cozy, and magical selves, here are 5 ways that we can practice radical self-love during a season that is all about l-o-v-e:
1.“The holidays are soooo stressful.”
I call bullshit on this one! Babes, I’ve stopped believing in stress because well, stress is just a catch-all phrase for FEAR. That’s right. The next time you find yourself feeling stressed, would you be willing to consider asking yourself what you’re really afraid of? Not so long ago, I would feel extreme stress and overwhelm during the holidays because I was afraid that I wasn’t buying the right gifts for people. I was afraid that if I showed up as myself with my family or my boyfriend’s family, that I would be judged. Once I started to acknowledge my fears, the stress began to naturally melt away.
2. Can’t buy my love.
That’s right. Do we really need another gift card or another unused tchotchke? Instead of spending money on gifts for the people you love most, how about making a date to see them, have dinner, drink cocktails, and laugh together? Quality time with deep, meaningful conversations, and lots of loud cackling laughs is worth a million bucks. My boyfriend and I have stopped giving each other gifts during the holidays and instead, we treat ourselves to a full day of couples’ treatments at our favorite Japanese spa. It’s super romantic and a great opportunity for us to connect and relax together. Can you think of who you want to make a fun date with this holiday season?
3. Gimme a break.
We often spend the holidays with our families and that can be such a beautiful thing and it can also be really triggering. When you are with your family have you received comments about your weight or your love life? Or maybe in your family you experience passive aggressive, unaddressed tension? Whatever it may be, our families love us to our cores, but also know exactly how to push our buttons. When the triggers start to come up, allow yourself to take a breather. That may look like going to the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, closing your eyes, and taking a deep intentional breath. It can also look like getting outside for some fresh air and a nourishing walk. It can look like going off to your room for a nap or to write about what you are feeling in a journal. Allowing yourself to take a break and not judging yourself for needing some space is a sure-fire way that you can show up more for yourself and in turn, show up as more present and calm with your family.
4. We go deep.
When you are spending time with your family and friends during this time of year, take the opportunity to get a little bit deeper. Instead of surface level, small talk, ask more questions. Connect with your parents, ask them about what’s going well for them in their lives right now. Ask an aunt or an uncle about what your parents were like when they were kids. Be present when you are spending time with your girlfriends and ask them what their hopes are for 2018. Get deeper with the people that you love and I promise you, you will walk away feeling more fulfilled by the relationship.
5. You can have whatever you want!
It’s no surprise that during the holiday season we tend to crave sweeter foods and special treats that we don’t generally eat during the year. With that, we also tend to judge ourselves for putting on any extra weight during this time. I am here to remind you that you are worth having what you crave this holiday season. When I walk into my mother’s Hanukkah feast of latkes and Jewish jelly donuts, or when I walk into my company’s holiday party, or my friend’s holiday potluck, I ask myself, “What would the most graceful and elegant version of myself do?” When I set the intention to show up as elegant and filled with grace, I notice that I make more intuitive choices around my meal and I spend less time focusing on the food and more time focused on connecting and laughing with friends and family. And if I see something yummy that makes my mouth water, I know that the elegant thing to do is to satisfy that desire!
What’s coming up for you this holiday season? Are you feeling stressed? Are you unconsciously spending and eating? I love to hear from you and want to support you along the way. Share with me in the comments below!
Love you always,