5 Minutes of Fabulous: How to Cope with Being Ghosted
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with love, yummy food, and lots of resting!
I recently got to thinking about the ghosts of my Thanksgiving past. Friends, dates, crushes, co-workers, that at one point were extremely important to me, that are now no longer on my radar. I’ve been ghosted and I’ve ghosted. What I noticed about myself in all of this, is that I held onto a lot of anger and hurt from being ghosted. And when I ghosted someone, it was an “easy out” for me to avoid speaking my truth to that person. Can you relate?
I decided to poll my friends and family and came to the realization that the majority of my loved ones have been ghosted. I’m talking about being ghosted by a best friend, a college roommate, a parent, or a hot date. Really hurtful, painful stuff. The one common thread I noticed is that “The Ghosted” didn’t feel like they had the right to express their anger and hurt with “The Ghoster”. Anger is healthy when expressed, but when suppressed causes resentment and disease in our bodies.
In the spirit of releasing the ghosts of anger, hurt, and frustration of the past, I’ve compiled a list of tools and tactics that have help me tremendously.
Allow yourself to be angry or sad. Cry, have a tantrum, stomp your feet. Allow all the feelings to come up.
Scream into a pillow or in your car. It’s rare that we allow ourselves to yell at the top of lungs, and it’s extremely important to let your anger come out from your diaphragm and throat.
Punch a pillow. What comes up? Do you find yourself getting really into it? Do you feel relief afterwards?
Write a letter to “The Ghoster” expressing everything you want to say to that person. You don’t have to send it.
Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Acknowledge that this is divine timing and that “The Ghoster” exited your life so that you have space to bring someone else in.
What I can tell you from my experience, is that when you’ve been ghosted it most often has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with the other person and their inability to express themselves.
As you go into this long holiday weekend, I ask that you love yourself enough to acknowledge any anger that is coming up for you. Instead of buying things on sale that you don’t actually want, try sitting down with your journal, or punching a pillow and see what comes up for you.
This post is a reminder that you are resilient as all hell, baby! You can trust yourself to handle the ups and downs of life. You are worth fighting for. Your body is a stunning sanctuary for your soul and it doesn’t deserve to be a hostile environment that holds your unexpressed anger and hurt.
Sending you all my love always.