5 Minutes of Fabulous: Trust. Yo. Self.
Good Morning Gorgeous,
Happy Friday! Hope this week has treated you well and that you are geared up for a wonderful weekend!
I’ve recently been thinking a lot about trust. I now work on a large collaborative team at my new job where it’s necessary to practice openness and trust with my team members so that we can call succeed together. This got me thinking about how I’ve been taught my entire life to be willing and open to trust others.
Have you ever done that team building exercise where you’re supposed to relinquish all control and fall backwards trusting that the person behind you will catch you? I swear I’ve been asked to do that exercise since I was in kindergarten!
I’ve read books and been lectured on how to open my heart and trust a partner or on how to create a foundation of trust in relationships. Is it just me or have we been schooled so much on trusting others that we basically have a PHD in the subject?
In the midst of our training to become soldiers of trust and loyalty and love, where was our training in trusting ourselves?
Growing up I was constantly looking outside of myself for answers. I was overweight so I needed to see a doctor to tell me why. I had irregular periods and bad stomach aches so I took a test to tell me that I “needed” prescription medications. I went on diet after diet because Dr. Atkins and Weight Watchers clearly knew my body better than I did. Every small career decision I made meant a phone call to my parents for their input. I needed to buy a car, so that meant allowing my dad to take care of it, well because what did I know about cars? Before I met my boyfriend, I dated anyone that liked me, well because they knew best, not me.
Can you relate?
What it came down to was that I never learned exercises or techniques on how to trust myself. I put all my stock in other people’s opinions and felt that everyone else was an expert on my needs and wants.
In the wise words of Missy Elliot, “Is it worth it let me work it. I put my thang down, flip it, and reserve it.” Why? I’ll tell you why- no one else on this planet is in expert in YOU! You know what’s best for your heart, soul, and your body.
So in the spirit of shimmying your titties with confidence and creating a strong foundation of trust with your own god-damn self, I want to share a few exercises and beliefs that have helped me amp up my faith and trust in myself:
Gut check: When was the last time you were at a restaurant and had no idea what you wanted to order? Or your boo thang asked, “where do you want to eat?” for the zillionth time and you replied back with a whiney and defeated “I don’t know, you pick.” The moment I started to change my thinking and check in with myself, was when all that hesitation and agony went out the window.
How to: Close your eyes. Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your tummy. Ask yourself, what do I need? What do I want? I promise that your intuition will speak up!
I approve of myself: I am here to remind you that everyone is not alike. Just like there are no two snowflakes that are alike in this universe, our bodies, minds, and souls are unlike anyone else’s on this planet. You have this one vessel (your body) and one shot to be who you really are in this world- are you willing to accept yourself?
How to: My mantra is “I approve of myself”. I say it all day, every day. When negative thoughts come up (which they do) i.e. “your thighs are too big or you really messed up that proposal at work”, I acknowledge the thought and say, “thank you very much but I love and approve of myself anyway.”
Our bodies crave balance: I used to be the diet and workout kween. I yo-yoed, I did the vegan diet, the cabbage soup diet, I did only Powerbars, I did Slimfast, I took diet pills, saw a nutritionist. I worked with trainers, wore a garbage bag on my body while I did the Stairmaster (to sweat more, duh), I boxed, ran, lifted, spun on every stationary bike in the LA and San Francisco area, and I drove myself insane. What I found is that these diets and workouts may have worked for the folks that write the books or star in the commercials, but those people are not YOU! They have no idea what will actually work for YOUR body. The resolution I came to was that if I wanted to know what was going to work for my body, I needed to listen to her.
How to: My mentor and coach, Jamie Mendell, taught me an exercise that completely shifted the way I look at myself, my cravings, and diets in general. The exercise is as follows: write down 3 days’ worth of your ideal meals. What would you eat for breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner, dessert if you simply allowed yourself to nourish yourself like the Kween that you are?
For someone like me who couldn’t be caught dead trusting my own desires, I was shocked to find that my body craved dirty martinis AND platters of fresh fruits. I was stunned that I genuinely desired sautéed spinach AND dark chocolate AND green juice.
Once I STFU and actually listened to my body and my heart, the diet books started to collect dust. The phone calls to my parents started to become fun and not as desperate. I started to have the confidence to ask for what I needed and wanted from other people because I was already asking myself those questions all day, every day.
Are you willing to consider allowing your soul to fall back into your own arms? If you can let someone else catch you, why not consider catching yourself first?
Share what’s on your mind with me in the comments section below!
P.S. My mentor, coach, and dear friend Jamie Mendell has created a FREE 8-day challenge that will show you what supreme self-care really looks like. I loved this challenge so much last year that I’m doin’ it again! It starts September 18th and you can sign up now at MYLcourse.com/challenge.