It’s been quite a while since I’ve written to you and I’ve missed you with all my heart and soul.
If we were sitting across from one another on my emerald green sofa in my living room snuggled up under the softest mink blanket together, I’d tell you that I feel like I lost my voice. I’d also tell you that I’ve been beating myself up for being distracted, fearful, and second guessing my ability. I’d share how even now I wonder if I’ve been letting my ego run my life and that I feel like a fraud for wanting to teach confidence and leadership when I often feel insecure too. I also would tell you that I appreciate your friendship, patience and compassion and that I’m hopeful that we can pick up right where we left off.
Beauty, grace and inspiration are all around us 24/7 and we have the choice to stop, breathe, notice it, and take it in. This happened to me recently when I stumbled across an article in the New York Times Business section about how science is now...
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling so drained by my anxiety and I desperately need a break. Can you relate?
Can you notice when you're most anxious? Is it before a date with someone you like? On your way into the office? Or before having a tough conversation? When you are driving to a dentist appointment? Or do you feel anxiety at the thought of where you’ll be in 5 years?
Below are 5 tips and tricks that help me with my free-floating anxiety and my hope is that they help you too.
1. Think about this: A husband and wife holding hands are on a leisurely stroll. The husband asks his wife, “Honey, how are you feeling about our vacation in two weeks?” The wife wisely cracks back, “I don’t feel any type of way because we aren’t on our vacation yet.” Can you try living a little bit more like the wise wife and letting go of expectations and anxiety around upcoming events?
2. Come back to the now: When someone asks, “how are you?” can you take that as an opportuni...
I’ve missed you. I’ve been taking a break from writing weekly to focus more on my one-on-one coaching clients and other projects. I wanted to reach out this week to share something that’s very near and dear to my heart and that is the subtle art of leaving ourselves alone.
Leaving yourself alone means just being you- the you that is you.
It means not fixing yourself.
It means not rehearsing what you’re going to say before you say it.
It means not putting yourself on another diet or spending your entire weekend cleaning your house.
Leaving yourself alone means subtracting from your to-do list.
It’s the art of giving yourself permission to not be perfect.
You don’t have to Konmari your closet right now, drink tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to burn fat, or meditate today. You have the freedom to not do anything and just allow yourself to be.
Marianne Williamson says, “Let go of your story, so the universe can write a new one for you.” What if, just for today, you dro...
I’m resigning from the job of fixing myself and apologizing for the size of my personality and the size of my body.
Who’s with me?
We tell ourselves these stories.
The “what the hell am I doing with my life?” story.
The “I’m not good enough, lovable enough, smart enough” story.
The “I’m too much, my co-workers, boss, kids, partner can’t stand me” story.
When the truth is, we’re all having an individual experience and our suffering starts and ends with the stories that we tell ourselves.
Clarity and ease are accessible.
All you have to do is drop the story.
What stories do you tell yourself about your life?
The stories I tell myself are that I’m too much. My co-workers can’t stand me. I’m not doing a good enough job. I don’t get the support I deserve. I’m not worth ease & peace. My body, life, and desires are wrong. I’m too much and I’m also not good (sub in thin, pretty, smart, rich) enough.
Just writing out these stories helps me realize how fu...
As we quickly approach the end of the year, many of us will be heading out on vacation. For you, vacation may look like going on a trip to Hawaii or it may be staying at home in your jammies watching old movies and eating Chinese food for five days. Regardless of what you plan to do during this time of year, I feel it's important that we allow ourselves to be in the actual moment.
To best articulate the concept of being in the moment, I'd like to share a very special poem called "The Vacation" by Wendell Berry.
How are you? Is it cold and snowy where you are? Rainy and cloudy? Are you gearing up for the holidays? I’ve been desperately craving to slow down and sink into the holiday season and yet I feel like I’m in the middle of a mad dash to get everything done. Can you relate?
The holiday season can be wonderful time and can also be a triggering time. To-do lists, hosting duties, buying gifts, writing cards, wrapping gifts, and ornamenting ourselves just like tress can be down-right exhausting.
With all of that in mind, I want to share the gift of a self-care exercise that you can use during the holidays and all year round.
It’s called the “Oh, Sweetheart” exercise.
When you notice yourself feeling stressed, sad, triggered, uncomfortable, overwhelmed, etc. all you have to do is say to yourself, “Oh Sweetheart, (insert something kind, tender and loving here).”
I’ve shared a few personal examples below for you to use for reference.
Today I want to share a poem by Galway Kinnell that reminded me that we’re constantly surrounded by loveliness.
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on the brow
of the flower,
and retell it in words and in touch,
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing"
When we notice the loveliness that already exists in our lives it creates more loveliness.
How can you reteach yourself your loveliness? For me, I reteach my body it’s loveliness by moving my body and dancing like a wild woman in the morning. How can you reteach your eyes, lips, tummies their loveliness? How can you show up with fresh perceptive today? Would you be willing to take 10 seconds to just look around for loveliness?
I’m over the moon to share that I’m opening up enrollment for the 2nd Annual 18 Days to Fabulous Chal...
Wishing you a very happy and healthy holiday season!
How was your Thanksgiving?
Did you go around the table and give thanks? Did you feel loved and filled with cozy, holiday cheer? Or was your Thanksgiving dinner filled with discomfort and perhaps heated, nonsensical political discussion? Did you feel icky because you were seated next to that family member that triggers you and gives you the creeps? (BTW simply pulling from my own life here)
In years’ past, I’ve always looked forward to the Thanksgiving meal almost like the way I look forward to a Beyoncé concert (excitement, full outfit preparation, and predicating exactly what would go down). Warm stuffing, the sweetness of cranberry sauce, and buttery pie crust filled not just my belly but, created a warm layer of protection between me and my loud, bickering family.
Food made me feel safe. It was my distraction from the discomfort. Can you relate?
I felt like food was my only friend and ally during tense fami...
In the popular song, "Loyalty", the sultry goddess, Rihanna, sings “Tell me who you loyal to. Do it start with your woman or your man? Do it end with your family and friends? Or you’re loyal to yourself in advance?”
I don’t know about you, but at any given time in my life I’ve been loyal to negativity, to self-doubt, misery, suffering. I’ve been loyal to my past, my family’s struggles, to negative self-talk, and to what other people think of me. I’ve been loyal to eating my feelings, playing it safe, and hoping other people think I’m cool.
So, what about you? What are you loyal to?
Are you loyal to taking care of others before yourself? Are you loyal to sparkling positivity and sunshine for others? Are you loyal to your Instagram and distracting yourself with technology? Are you loyal to worrying about the future? Or reliving your past?
Regardless of where your loyalty lies, we can always change what we are loyal to.
Last night’s sunset wasn’t wrong. Snuggles aren’t wrong. Morning walks (especially in the flats of Beverly Hills) aren’t wrong.
Take a beat and ask yourself, what’s NOT wrong?
The brilliant Geneen Roth (the godmother of radical self-care and food psychology) says, “I’d tried versions of not fixing myself before, but always with the secret hope that not fixing myself would fix me.”
Does this resonate with you?
I’ll tell ya, it certainly resonates with me.
I just got back from an epic four-day trip to New Orleans to celebrate my boyfriend’s birthday. I unconsciously dropped all my “fix me” tools i.e. meditation, journaling, self-development books, vitamins, etc. I do believe that these tools are absolutely fabulous when we have no expectations and when we practice them because they feel good. But in the case of my trip, I dropped every traditional self-care technique I’d ever learned and traded it in for what felt good in t...